Odi et amo - English version

Hi!
The narrative can have linguistic errors. It was translated by Google Translate, not by me :)
Source:
https://swiatducha.wordpress.com/2018/12/23/dzisiaj-niespodzianka-pod-choinke-kolega-o-artystycznym-pseudonimie/ 

"This story is philosophical science fiction. And although the story takes place in three different historical periods, historical realities regarding events, figures, places or objects have not been preserved everywhere. This is a deliberate procedure, intended to emphasize not so much the content of the work as its "philosophical" message. The advantage of fantasy is that nothing constructed by it must be true to say something about the truth. "

Have a nice reading.

Paul Block

ODI ET AMO

Social life is equipped with cross-biological forms that lend it higher values in the form of games or games. In them, the society expresses its views on the world and life.

Johan Huizinga, Homo ludens

Part one

Soul A concludes a contract with Soul B

Egypt, Achetaton, 14th century BC

A huge hall lit by fire piles, it made an impression on anyone who was given the first time to cross its thresholds through the brass gate. The gate was always guarded by two guards, armed with sharp pikes and short swords, regardless of the time of day. Hadrian sat at the back of the room at a large table filled with piles of papyrus and copper tablets. He was a bald man dressed in a white long robe and leather sandals. On the right hand of his right hand he wore a ring of Nibiru, a sign of his priestly and judicial power. He belonged to the strongest and most important social group. It was mainly priests who decided who would be at the head of the Egyptian state. Although in theory the power of the pharaohs passed from father to son, the new candidate for the throne always needed approval from the High Council, consisting mainly of the highest-ranking priests of Ra, now identified with Aton - the only god of Egypt.

Hadrian sat in silence, waiting for the prisoner to be brought. Today he was to give the final verdict in the matter of the unbeliever. Waiting for the guards, he was thinking about yesterday's conversation with Hector, who tried to convince him that every human being is marked by alien beings, external energies that have a huge impact on people's behavior. These included the dark energies of the symbiotes and the white energies of the entrances. Therefore, every human being is only a tool in the game of these mysterious creatures. Only due to the fact that Hektor was Hadrian's brother-in-law, he could feel safe with his views, which he drew from a wandering mage years ago. Any infidels or deniers of the existing public order were immediately condemned to death. On the one hand, Hadrian did not want to make his sister a widow, on the other he was clearly interested in what his brother-in-law had to say to him. It was something completely different than he had heard before.

Now in Egypt, we believe in one god, the Sun God called Aton - the law said. All thanks to Pharaoh Amenhotep IV who, along with leading a new religion, took the name of Akhenaten. Earlier, he thought, we worshiped many gods, including Amon. Now the Karnak priests of Amon had to submit to Akhenaten's decision. All old beliefs must have been forgotten. Faith in the god The sun is the beginning of a new era in Egypt. Of course, we also believe in ghosts of various colors - the priest realized - but what Hektor said was a novelty for him. Her brother-in-law also spoke about one only god, but not only did he not identify him with the sun, but he even claimed that this god allows people to experience various spiritual burdens - symbiotes, entrances and their derivatives - bites and poisonings. And although Hadrian was not able to understand everything at once, he was encouraged enough to look at the matter himself.

The guards introduced a prisoner. The boy wore a crimson garment and was without shoes. He had not eaten the day before, according to Hadrian's order, so he was certainly famished. He would tell the truth sooner - he was to say to the guards, the priest.

- Can I get some water? - The boy started.

- It depends on you. You must answer my questions first. It's about your life. Do you realise?

- Yes.

"You are accused of betraying Pharaoh and our god," Hadrian continued, "and this threatens death. What do you have for your defense? He asked and remembered the words of his superior, the high priest of Egypt, Horus: It is from you, Hadrians. it will be up to you whether your boy's head or the boy's head will be pecked off by ravens. There can only be one judgment, unless you try to honor again.

Horus referred to the story of the previous year, when Hadrian released another boy who did not want to accept the new god, the Sun, and continued with the old Egyptian beliefs. Here, however, the case looked different. The boy in the crimson robe not only denied the old gods, but also the sun god.

"I have nothing to defend myself," replied the boy, "but I also believe in one god.

- Really? - said the priest - And what is this god?

- My god has no shape. He feels his feelings. You can not see it.

- Nonsense! - Hadrian replied - You're fooling around, boy. God who has no shape? Asked the priest, and remembered the words of his brother-in-law from the previous evening: "This invisible god experiences people in different ways. It gives them under the influence of white or dark energies, because only in this way their souls can develop. It is the souls of these people who agree to accept a symbiote or entrance. Nobody forces them to do it. "

The boy said nothing. Hadrian looked at him. There was no terror in the face of the young man in the face. Or maybe he has something to do with what Hektor told me about? The priest asked himself. He decided to ask him about it.

"Tell me about this god before I give judgment in your case.

- Okay, Lord. My God is a just God. Everyone really knows him. They have it in their hearts. They can worship other visible deities, but only he is real.

In the hearts, "whispered the priest. Let's see if we think about the same. We'll see for a moment, he said to himself.

- What do you know about white and dark energies? Hadrian asked.

- How do you know about it, Lord? Asked the surprised boy.

- I have my spies. So what do you know?

- Not much, Lord. The magician said it could be checked with a pendulum. These energies are real beings.

- How do I find this magician?

- You will not find it, Lord.

- But why?

- He can predict the threat. He avoids people who can hurt him.

It does not matter, Hadrian thought, I will ask Hector again. The priest had no more questions, so he decided to give the boy a last chance.

- Look, I do not want to condemn you to death. Recall what you have said, and acknowledge our only god, the Sun, and you will come back home today - that's when he looked again at the boy's face. And this time there was no fear on her.

- I can not, Lord. I would lie to my own soul!

- Do you want to die so young?

- It does not matter anyway. Real life is there, not here. Here we only experience.

Hadrian could not understand the boy's behavior. Sam lied in his life many times. If it were not for a lie, he would never have been promoted in the social hierarchy, he would never have been a priest. He did not know what to do. He did not want to deprive the boy of life. He decided to wait with the verdict for the next day. I will speak with Hektor - he thought - I need to know more about this god and mage. Horus gave me time until tomorrow at noon. I will pay the most for my boyfriend's next night in the cell.

- Take him! - he shouted to the guards - Judgment will fall tomorrow after breakfast. The guards seized the boy from both sides and led him out of the room. When they closed the gate, the priest rose from his chair and went out onto the balcony from which stretched out the view of the city. It was a beautiful sunny day. The office district of Achetaton was vibrant with life. Among the state buildings and workers' workshops there was a large mass of people. The priest focused his eyes on the workers of the alabaster mine going towards the Nile, and then returned to the table with the documents.

Your fate in what Hektor tells me, boy, "he whispered to himself," In what Hektor tells me, "he repeated.

...

Twilight had fallen when Hadrian entered the garden of his sister and her husband. It was also here that he spoke with Hektor the previous evening. The flower garden was surrounded by olive and fig trees. He sat down at one of them and waited for his brother-in-law. He remembered the dream of the last night when he accepted the family of Thebes in his villa. He greets them at the gate. He does not know some faces. Everyone is at the table in his garden, but without him! He does not take part in it and does not know why?

Suddenly, Hektor approached him from the side of the road.

- I thought you were at home?

"I was still in my friend's town," said Hektor.

- Listen, you have to tell me more about this magician. I want to meet him, "the priest said firmly.

Hektor noticed his nervousness.

- Calm down! What is going on?

- Just say, how can I meet him?

- It will not be easy. The magician never announces when he arrives. In addition, they say that he has the gift of recognizing people and does not meet with everyone.

- How is it?

"He's always got a silver pendulum with him. With his help, he can read which man is good and who is bad.

- I want to ask him only a few questions. You told me about these symbiotes and ... What is it called?

- Entry.

- Yeah. How should I understand that? Is this a parallel world, is it?

- As far as I know, yes. But it's a different world than ours. There are only spiritual energies there.

- Look, I have a prisoner who seems to be a supporter of the mage's theory. He says something about the intangible god.

- Yes it's true. I did not tell you not to tease you.

- We are a family, Hector. I would not betray you. What do you think? Would I want to condemn my sister's husband to death, who is happy in addition? Just tell me, do you also believe in this god?

Yes, Hadrianie. It looks like the magician does not cheat us. However, we must remain hidden.

- What do you mean by "us"?

- Your sister, my wife, also believes in the magician.

- How many are you, Hector?

- A few people for now. Your sister asked me to remind you gently about the magician and what he said to see your reaction.

- Okay. How can I meet him?

"If he considers you the right man, he will come to you himself.

- How is it?

- He can read minds too. The pendulum can show him what the man is thinking. Tell me, Hadrian, what is this prisoner like?

- It's a young boy in a crimson robe.

- I know him. It's Luderus. One of us.

"He gives the impression of being free from everything," said the priest.

- It is in fact. This faith frees from all evil. You start to live anew, free from fear. What do you want to do with it?

- I do not know yet. That's why I'd like to talk to your mage. I know that you are not honest with me. For sure you have appointment dates.

- No! Hector sharply denied.

"This is not important," Hadrian continued, "tell him that I want to meet him. Do I express myself clearly?

Hektor felt pressure from his brother-in-law. He had no choice but to arrange a meeting.

"Be patient, Hadrian, I will inform you soon, when the magician will come again.

- Tomorrow morning, this is my deadline. Otherwise at noon, the boy will die - the priest threatened.

- I will do everything in my power to ...

- Well then. Stay here, brother-in-law! Hadrian replied and disappeared behind the trees, not letting him finish his thoughts.

...

Hektor arrived the next day in the great hall in front of the brass gate. He was restless. It is from him, from what he tells his brother-in-law, the boy's life depends, he thought. The guard informed Hadrian of the arrival of the guest. The brass gate opened and Hektor went inside. Hadrian called him, raising his right hand up and waving it in his direction. He smiled and walked slowly to the table filled with various documents.

- How are things? - Hadrian began - When will I see the mage?

"I do not have good news, Hadrian. The magician will not see you.

- Really? Why? Is the boy's life indifferent to you?

- It is not indifferent.

- So what's going on?

- The magician asked his pendulum for you.

- Have you seen him yet yesterday? So what did the pendulum say? He asked ironically.

- Hmm, you're acting on dark energies. Said Hektor uncertainly.

- On dark energies? What does it mean? Hadrian laughed.

- You have a very big symbiote on the buddhist body. It's a dark helper that fights white energy. He hunts for her.

- I do not understand. Keep talking, brother-in-law.

- It means you're going to kill this boy. He works on white energies.

- It depends on the conversation with the magician. As you can see, he does not want to talk to me, so there is nothing left to lose an unbeliever. He does not want to defend himself or translate himself, his troublemaker also does not want to. What remains?

"If so, I will tell you the truth, Hadrian. Only once in my life did we see the mage. He will not come back here anymore. He taught me how to use the pendulum, he said uncertainly again, and added, "That's what I call you, troublemaker.

- You? Hadrian said - How dare you lie to me?

- I also work on white energies, so the natural thing is your irritation, or rather yours, only your symbiote.

- Away from my eyes! The priest yelled.

"Before I leave, you must listen to me, Hadrian," said Hektor, now more boldly. "Save the boy, he is still young ..."

The priest interrupted him:

- You've gone crazy! - he shouted again - The fact that you are my sister's husband does not mean that I will fulfill all your desires. I've protected you so far, but ...

"In that case, take me instead of a boy," said Hektor.

- You fool! - said the priest - you know I will not do it, because it would also mean death for my sister and your children. I have a knife on my throat. The high priest Horus wants heads at noon today. And it does not matter to him whether it will be my boy or that boy's head. Someone will die today, and it depends on me who ...

- You hesitate, Hadrian. You are not sure about the God of the Sun. If you believed it, it would have been a long sentence.

- Be silent! You do not make it easy for me, my brother-in-law. Oh, you do not make it easy, "he said, clearly saddened and added:

- No way out. The boy must die.

"I'm trying to explain to you, Hadrian. It's not you who wants it, it's your symbiote.

- Stop talking nonsense! If I do not do it, I will die myself. I am a priest and I serve the pharaoh. And this is a rebellion against him and our God. You see, brother-in-law, life in this world has its own rules and rules, and if you do not follow them, you die before time ...

- So what will you do?

Hadrian looked at the silver pendulum hanging on Hektor's neck, then stood up and walked toward the balcony. The sun was approaching the south. He remembered the dream of his youth, in which he killed someone in anger and was caught red-handed by the temple guards. Then he was brought before the court and sentenced to death. At this moment something stabbed in his ears and his legs buckled under him. After a while, he saw dark spots in front of his eyes and fell to the floor.

Part two

Soul B concludes a contract with Soul A

The Electorate of Saxony, the Marientron monastery in Nimbschen, the 16th century.

The evening set has come to an end. Katarzyna opened the iron door of her cell vigorously and entered it hurriedly. It was a small room with a tiny window opening in the upper right corner. In the left corner was a metal bed, and to the right a small kneeler. A wooden cross hung on the wall above the kneeler. The room was quite bright, because at this time the moon was shining with a particularly strong light. All nuns were entitled to similar-sized quarters, except for Małgorzata's excise. The prioress had a slightly larger cell because of his office. She was the head of the Cisterian monastery, one of the few female orders that strictly followed the rules of St. Benedict.

The sisters' abbey was situated among numerous cultivated fields, constituting its good. The monastery buildings were surrounded by a high stone wall that symbolically separated monastic life from secular life. Symbolically, because the sisters went outside the walls of the monastery to work in the field. The patron of the abbey was Saint Lutgard of Tongeren, a Flemish Cistercian from the turn of the twelfth and thirteenth centuries. The rule of the order was based on a return to evangelical simplicity and the practice of poverty. The nuns were to be penitentiaries, who move away from the mundane world, live in loneliness and silence. Besides, they had to be self-sufficient. They ran their own farms, cultivated the land. They raised cattle and carp, and also produced wine.

Many children from large families, who were often returned to the order because of poverty, had help. In this case, they were girls, while boys were sent to male monasteries.

In addition to working according to the motto of Saint Benedict, Ora et labora, the day-to-day prayer was a duty of the nuns. Each day began with a matinside and a holy mass. Before dinner, the sisters would pray in the south, in the evening before supper, and in the evening before bedtime. The time between prayers was filled with work.

Katherine threw off the habit, put on a long white cotton shirt, reaching up to her knees, and went to bed, but she could not sleep. She plunged in restless thoughts. She began to think about what she had heard over lunch from her friend, Monk Konrad, who belonged to the Augustinian Order in Wittenberg. Once a week, the monk visited the monastery with the merchant Jan. The merchant settled his business with the prioress, and Konrad at that time confessed the nuns and the girls who worked for them. While he limited his contact with other nuns and young people only to the sacrament of penance, he often talked to Katarzyna during confession, who from time to time asked him about the world outside the walls of the monastery. It turned out - in the light of what Konrad said - that a certain monk from Wittenberg objected sharply to the local bishop. He hung up on the door of the local church 95 also against the Pope's teaching. In addition, religious supporters distributed leaflets with these theses throughout the city. News from Konrad caused a stir in her. The monk handed her a sheet of paper and asked her to hide it under the habit. She was only to read it when she was alone in the cell after the evening set. She did so too. Moonlight reaching the dark cell made it possible to read the Latin words written on the sheet. She came closer to the window and looked at the card. There were four passwords:

Sola scriptura, Solus Christus, Sola gratia, Sola fide.

She knew Latin, but she did not understand the meaning of the slogans. I will ask Konrad about this during the next meeting - she said quietly and went to bed.

She came from a peasant family and had been devoted to her by a nun since she was a child. Catherine's parents patted poverty. They derived most of their income from the cultivation of land. There was little money from it. There was barely enough for them, and after all five children were born - two sons and three daughters. They gave all daughters at the age of 6 to education in the convent, in exchange for help from the monastery, especially in the form of food for the family. So all the daughters sent to the cysterans. In the future, they were to become nuns. These six-year-old children had to work for their livelihood, while working for the needs of the Order. Only Catherine lived to a mature age. Her older sister died at the age of 13 due to a severe cold. The younger one drowned shortly afterwards in a nearby river. It is not known whether it was an accident or suicide.

As every week, on Wednesday, the Augustin with a merchant entered the abbey with a three-wheeled cart pulled by two gray horses. All the nuns were at that time in a monastery church. Katarzyna prayed the southern prayer together with the other sisters. Then all the nuns went to the refectory for a joint dinner. Traditionally, after a meal, the monk Konrad confessed his sisters in the monastery chapel. Katarzyna was particularly excited this day. She waited for new news from Wittenberg. When it was her turn, she approached the confessional, greeting the monk in Latin:

- Dominus tecum.

"Et cum spiritu tuo," said Konrad.

She knelt in the confessional in front of the priest and looked at him. She saw him through the holes carved in the window of the linden confessional. He recognized her by the voice:

- Hello Catherine!

- Welcome Konrad!

- Have you read the message?

- Yes, but I do not understand much of it.

- This is still a mystery, but the new church will be based on these four slogans.

- New church? - she asked surprised.

- Yes, Katarzyna. A new church will be built.

- How do I understand this, Konrad?

- My brother from the order, Marcin, wants to detach the German church from Rome, which he considers to be the seat of evil, and the Pope himself as a servant of Satan.

- Why? What has happened that we do not know about?

- Brother Marcin often travels around various abbeys and bishoprics. He was a witness how bishops and priests forgive people for purgatory for money. Everything happens with the consent of the Pope. For us it is unacceptable.

- How is it for you?

- I think that Brother Marcin is right. Some of the brothers from the monastery support him. I also.

- Are you telling me?

- No, Katarzyna, I will not confess you anymore.

- Why?

- Brother Marcin claims that baptism washes us out of original sin, although it does not eliminate it, because totus homo peccator est, therefore there is no need for individual confession. It's just a figment of the priests to keep all people in fear of God, or rather of enslavement and fear of the church.

- But Mother Superior says ...

- Małgorzata's mother lies to you, but also to herself. However, you should not blame her for it. She was cheated herself - he interrupted her and added - Think, would you go to the monastery if it was not for the family? They call this a calling, a stigma to serve God. However, it is a scam, Katarzyna. They deceived us all. Me too.

- Does it mean that you do not believe in our Lord Jesus Christ anymore?

- Of course I believe. Even more than before, if I can say that.

- What do these Latin phrases that you handed me mean?

- It is on them that a new faith will be based. The most important of them is Solus Christus, which says that we can get salvation only through Christ himself. We do not need any intermediaries in the form of a pope and priests. Sola gratia means that we will be saved by God's grace and not by our works. Sola fide says that all we need is faith in God, full trust in him and not in deeds. Good deeds without faith are worth nothing. By this principle, all believers will be saved. Sola scriptura or Solum verbum means that only the Holy Bible, what is contained there, tells us about God. So all other things like confession, indulgences or our religious communities are contrary to the Word of God.

- What do you mean, Konrad?

- That we are in a sense, me as a monk, and you as a nun, we are blaspheming God. God does not require us to clean, vow celibacy, live alone in cells. Well, tell yourself, do you feel good about it?

- I was intended from childhood ...

- Just! - he interrupted her - It was decided for you. You do not need anything, Katarzyna. It was not your choice. Do you think it is pleasing to God if something is done by force?

"I do not think so," she said uncertainly, completely distracted.

- We must finish today, Katarzyna, I must confess the other sisters. I will give you more information next week. I have something important to tell you. Go with God.

- Well. With God, Konrad.

His words made a huge impression on her. She never let him know it, but she had a similar vision of faith, the only difference being that she was rejecting almost everything that the Holy Bible was saying. It was her secret. Of course, she believed in God, but she did not identify him with the god from the Holy Bible. Her God was something more. He addressed all people, and it was not necessary to read the Old and New Testaments to be worthy of him. He was the creator of everything, so he could not renounce his creation. From the moment she received her religious vows, she knew that what was happening in the convent had nothing to do with God, her God, that something was wrong ... She felt it with herself, and it was so strong that every day she would know about herself . The only thing that kept her from escaping from the monastery was the specter of shame that would fall on her family. And now the monk came and told her about the new faith. There was an opportunity to leave the monastery. Is this a sign from God, her God? - she asked herself. My God, however, is different from their God, both from God's pope and from God's monk Marcin. He will not tell anyone about it, however.

...

Another week has passed. This time, she was not so excited about meeting Konrad. She felt strong emotions, but they were caused by nervousness, not as before by waiting for the news from Wittenberg.

- Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui sancto.

- Sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper et sa saecula saeculorum.

- Hello Catherine!

- Welcome Konrad!

- I have to tell you something today. Time to act. At any moment, all the monasteries will cease to exist. Tell me, do you want to leave the abbey today?

- Today? But…

"Yes, I know, I did not warn you," he interrupted her, "I thought it would be better, otherwise you could change your mind. The fear that you have been inculcating over the years would have taken over.

- Suppose I agree. What's next?

- Will you live with me. I have a house in the countryside. I share it with my brother Marcin. I want you to be my wife. I love you from the very beginning. I knew right away that you were different.

She was very surprised by this confession. It made her very embarrassed. She knew it was strange that the monk, instead of confessing her, had been conducting regular conversations with her for a long time. Did he do it with other sisters? She wondered. Or maybe she was only her. Perhaps it was he who needed to hear confessions, speak out and treat her as a guide. Or maybe it was friendship, brotherhood of souls? And now he confesses her love? Am I free in my choices? What should I do? She could not answer these questions.

She remembered talking to him a few weeks ago when they were discussing the free will of man. According to Marcin's brother, man has no free will, he is like an animal, he is guided only by instinct, he wants and craves. Konrad then quoted his words:

"People do not change. The bad ones remain channels, good are fools. "

She could not agree with these words. She believed that God created souls for their sake, and that we, as souls, choose our lives in human bodies and experience them. Her God allows souls to experience both good and bad things. Thanks to this, souls can grow. That is how she understood the meaning of life in this world. She could not agree with the view of Brother Marcin and with Konrad, who supported him, that man has no free will. Yes, she admitted, the human personality does not have free will, but the soul, which according to it had free will, had previously agreed to it. She agreed to come to this world in a concrete human body to experience concrete experiences.

In addition, she admitted to the two Augustinian brothers that it was not possible that the faithful would agree in all that the Catholic priests say. It pleased her that Brother Martin was working on translating the Holy Bible directly from Greek into German. Yes, it was a sign of the new times. There will be no more secrets. Her knowledge of Latin made it possible to discover the true God and reject the false one. He got to know the counterfeit god thanks to the Latin translation of the Holy Bible by Hieronim from Strydon. She hoped that the translation of Marcin's brother would help other people discover the truth. Only life in harmony with nature - she thought - is a real life. Marcin and Konrad said that faith alone would be enough. She was of the same opinion, but for her God and the truth had nothing to do with the God of the Pope or God Monk Marcin, but also with the God of any other cult. He will not tell anyone about it. That was for her a real Ordo et pax and was supposed to remain her secret until her death.

He was impatient. He waited for her answer. He saw he hesitated.

- You did not expect it, right?

- A proposal to escape from the monastery may still be. Your confession, however, surprises me.

That's why you want to abduct me from the monastery, she thought, you have personal motivation. Or maybe he really loves me? No, it was too fast for her. She wanted to get out of the abbey, but she did not think about marrying him at all. Am I to lie? - she thought - just to take me away from here, and then we'll see? I'll have to find a husband sooner or later. A woman in this world is much harder without a man, but will Konrad be a good husband? Besides, she does not feel anything for him, just an ordinary sympathy.

- Okay, Konrad, I agree. Take me away from here!

Konrad smiled at her and said:

- You will see, Katarzyna, everything will be fine. Immediately after the confession, go to the merchant Jan's car and hide between the bags. We'll take you out of here. Go with God, dear ...

Part three

The last deal between souls

The Second Republic of Poland, Lublin, 1942.

The news given by the Polish radio bothered her. On the one hand, she hated Hitler and his ill ideology of higher races, but on the other hand she was afraid of Andreas' reaction to what she had to say to him about what she had heard on the radio. She knew deep down that it would be difficult to convince him, knowing his previous attitude to the matter. Despite that, she decided to give it a try.

Twenty minutes have passed since "Morning Signals of the Day", a radio program known to all Poles, in which the society of the Second Republic of Poland was informed about the latest developments from the front line, and he still did not call. He must have known about it earlier, Anna thought, much earlier than journalists from both the Reich and Poland. Working in the interview and contact with the highest German command meant that he knew at least a few days in advance about the activities of the staffs of the Third Reich and the Second Polish Republic. I'll wait, she thought. And so she planned to stay home today.

It was Sunday, a day off work. The end of March 1942 was characterized by particularly good sunny weather in Lublin. However, she did not plan to go to church that day and take a short walk in the park. Although she was brought up in a Christian family, she believed in reincarnation. She usually went to church only on Sunday, to calm down the mother who was particularly sensitive to Catholic religion, who believed that faith in Christ was not only a Polish tradition, which was primarily a holy family custom. Anna's mother claimed that Catholics were always in her family. Seeing her daughter's interest in Eastern spirituality, not necessarily related to Christianity, she often reminded her of it. Yes, it was under the influence of Andreas that she became interested in esotericism, which was very popular among the German elite. It was from him that she received 78 Transerfing Cards for her birthday. As it turned out later, the Germans took from esoterism only what suited their ideology of a higher race, and Anna, based on what she read in Zelanda, no longer had any doubts that the world, life, existence here on Earth were just another reincarnation cycles.

Another information from the Signals of the day cut her off her legs. She confirmed the first one in principle. She sat on a wooden chair at the kitchen table and lit a cigarette. The kitchen was one of the three rooms of her small apartment in the center of Lublin. The table was located by the window, from which stretched a beautiful view of the Old Town. The teapot from the stove broke it again. Water vapor was coming from the vessel. The espresso was ready. A small teaspoon of coffee powder mixed with a vanilla aroma and a dash of milk - a recipe from an Italian colleague from Florence - it started the day with this drink composition, but unlike the Italians, she did not eat mini-cakes.

Pouring coffee into a small white cup, she inhaled on the cigarette, then put it in a dark green ashtray. She always consulted Transerfing Cards in difficult times. Let them suggest something to me, she thought. She shuffled her waist and after a moment pulled out a card called Illusion of Reflection. The description on the card read:

"A man is like a cat who, standing in front of a mirror, does not understand that he sees himself there. You think that you are in a situation that you can not change. In reality, however, this is an illusion. A prop you can easily destroy when you want. Unconsciously, you walk in a closed circle: you observe reality - you express your attitude towards it - the mirror preserves the content of this relationship in reality. A closed loop of feedback comes out: reality is shaped as a reflection of the image of your thoughts, and the image in turn is determined in many respects by the reflection itself. The principle of managing reality is to turn this circle around: look at yourself first, and then at the mirror. " 1

She put the card down on the table. Yes - she said to herself - I should not think about what I do not want, but about what I want. Never the other way round. She took the last sip of coffee from the cup and looked out the window at the Old Town. She thought about the old days, how she met Andreas in Warsaw in the autumn of 1939 at the concert of Jan Kiepura. Handsome German military immediately caught her attention. After Poland, in March 1939, concluded an alliance with Germany and other axis states, the presence of higher German military in Poland was the order of the day. Earlier they appeared as often, but they were mainly the most important politicians of the Third Reich: Goering, Goebbels and Ribbentrop. From the moment of the Polish-German alliance in the Second Polish Republic, there were also Abwehr and Wehrmacht officers. The common interests of both countries, military and economic goals also favored joint cultural events and feasting. She remembered that after Kiepura's concert, Andreas offered her the job of a secretary and translator in his Lublin office. The German language she knew from her studies and, although she did not graduate from German studies, she used it so well that she could easily translate the letters from German to Polish.

The loud buzzing of the phone rang through her mind. It's probably Andreas, she thought. Yes, that's for sure. She picked up the phone and heard his nervous voice:

- Now you know?

- Yes. Recently I listened to news on the radio - she replied.

- Damn it! - he shouted - They told me some people that Sosnkowski would finally do it.

- You seem surprised. You did not know anything before? She asked.

- I did not believe that it would come to that. You are not surprised, do you?

"I'm just like you," she said.

Yes, she was surprised, but unlike him it was a positive surprise. Information about the passage of Poland to the Allies' side was relieved, at the same time feeling fear and anxiety. She knew that this meant war with Germany. She was not happy at all because she did not want to lose Andreas.

- What will happen now, Andreas? With us? With you? With me?

- Even today, the Fuehrer will probably send troops to the border with Poland - he replied sadly. He felt sorry for Poland. He strongly believed that Germany together with Poland will reign supreme in Central and Eastern Europe, with the help of Italy they will gain Africa, and then, together with Japan, they will control all of Asia. The last enemy to be defeated would be the United States. After the capture of France in 1939 and Great Britain in early 1941, the USA was Hitler's main goal in the West. Andreas realized that it was only thanks to the alliance with Poland that he managed to defeat France, and then England, so quickly. Although Poland remained neutral in the war with the West, it secured the eastern border to the Germans, because there was a common enemy of Hitler and Sosnkowski - the Soviet Union. It was mainly thanks to Poland's support that Stalin managed to win so quickly. The attack on the USSR took place in May 1941. The German and Polish army with the help of Italian, Hungarian, Romanian, Slovak, Bulgarian and Finnish troops attacked from four directions. This completely surprised Stalin. He did not expect the defeat of Great Britain, which was supported by the United States, which at that time had not yet officially declared war on Germany. So in December 1941, Germans and Poles entered Moscow. Both were very surprised by what they found in the capital of the USSR.

The Russians cheered in their honor. There were several dozen gallows on Red Square, and Stalin hung on one of them. I will never forget this view - Andreas said often, who was then one of the conquerors of Moscow. The Germans engaged most of their forces in the war in the East. The Russians hated the Bolsheviks so much that they decided to bring justice to them without waiting for us. And now we will do justice to Poland, Andreas thought and said to Anna:

- I will send a car for you with my driver and security. I'm taking you to Germany. We equate Poland with the earth! He shouted terribly.

His voice scared Anna. She loved him, but she also lied to him that she would be with him forever. Victory over a common enemy from the East was a great thing, but Anna knew that the Poles would not want to fight the entire western world. She could not imagine, like most Poles, the reign of the Nazis in Europe. This German ideology was bad from the beginning. We Poles, she thought, we had no other option but to ally with Hitler in 1939, just to keep us completely destroyed. And in a sense, it succeeded. We even defeated the common enemy, but the danger from the German ally was still taken into account by the Polish authorities, in case the Poles refused to help Germany in the war with the West. That's how it happened. The radio message said clearly:

"Chief Commander Kazimierz Sosnkowski announced that Poland is breaking the existing alliance agreement with Germany in March 1939 and that it contains a nonaggression system with the US."

- Cursed Poles! - Anna heard in the telephone receiver - They want to go out with a defensive hand. However, the Fuehrer's revenge will be severe! - he said enraged.

- You are wrong - she replied - You can not hit Poland, because you have to defend yourself in the West. Any day United States-British forces will land in Normandy. Poland will be neutral.

- How is it neutral? Put a knife in our backs! He shouted at her.

- We do not need a war with you. From what is given in the Polish radio, it appears that the Polish army will move to Germany only in the case of your aggression against us - she replied.

- You do the same as in 1939 and 1940. Your neutrality is such a Polish specialty. You just needed us to defeat the Bolsheviks.

"And Fuehrer wanted it. We helped each other.

- And now you are betraying us! Himmler was right when he said he could not trust the Poles. From the very beginning he did not believe in an alliance with Poland, but the Fuehrer, blinded first by Piłsudski, then Sosnkowski, stubbornly wanted to spare you.

- This is not betrayal! - she said - We do not just want to die in a lost case. You want to make honorary blood donors from us! The US war will be lost!

"It will turn out," Andreas said.

- Come to Poland. Here, nothing threatens you - she asked him - Nobody will give you for desertion.

"I can not," he replied. "I vowed. Know that after defeating the USA, we will take care of Poland.

- You can not beat them, Andreas. You know it well. You work in an interview. You know what forces they have. It will be a slaughter! You condemn your nation to death.

She heard him suddenly hang up. Again anxiety overwhelmed her. So this is the end, she thought, the Germans are over. Andreas will either die or be captured and convicted. Well, but maybe we can still save Poland?

She lit another cigarette. What does all this matter in the face of our short human life? To gain the whole world, to have only one ideology in it, this Nazi religion of the great messiah - the German savior, Adolf Hitler? - she thought.

The main enemy enemy, the USSR, was defeated. However, Germany was not enough. They recognized that since reincarnation is taking place in this world, everything can be done. They said yes because it suited their idea of the master race. In fact, reincarnation and the law of karma behind it meant that if we harm someone, they will also hurt us. That evil gives birth to evil. Do the Germans not understand this?

She could not understand the arguments of her Christian friends, mainly Catholics. They claimed undeniably that we only live once. However, she believed that God calls us into the world many times and in different circumstances. Some are born in rich and influential families, others in poor and less resourceful families. Some have talents, others only illnesses or addictions.

It would be a great injustice, she thought, if we would only be born once, unable to repair our mistakes, unable to experience another life. Besides, if God is the author of everything, he has also indirectly created all religions and ideologies, and the task of people is to discover that he is the goal, and religion, ideology or whatever is a form of the game in which you do not necessarily have to participate.

She remembered her first and only meeting at the Europa Hotel with Zeland in Warsaw, a Russian mystic from whom Andreas received Transerfing Cards, which he then handed to her. This meeting completely changed Anna's view of the world and life in general. She had the opportunity to have a private conversation with a famous Russian. Germans highly valued his esoteric knowledge, which he willingly shared with them. Besides, like the Germans and Poles, he hated communists. She remembers how she asked him about the future of Poland. He was known for the gift of clairvoyance. They talked in private in a small room by the hotel restaurant.

- Can you tell me how the fate of my country will follow after the war?

- Do not be afraid. Poland will come out of the war all over.

- Really? We are, after all, Hitler's ally. Will not we be punished for this by the Allied punishment?

- No - said confidently Russian - My vision of the future does not contain anything like punishment for Poland, on the contrary, you will enjoy a large and strong state. You will recover virtually all lands from before the first partition.

- Impossible! - Zelanda's answer caused a surge of heat in all the cells of her body.

"That's how I see it," said the mystic and added. "But I see something else, but this is only for your life. You've been fighting for a long time. In principle, not so much a lady as your soul. For many incarnations, your soul has been fighting a different soul. It looks like you are teasing each other in subsequent incarnations.

- Is it? How is it? What do you see exactly?

- You are both old souls, more or less in a similar age of experience, but you are acting on opposite energies. Your soul is white, it is dark.

- What does it mean? I do not understand. Am I good or bad?

- White and dark energy are only contractual names. The point is that both energies fight each other. It is not the fault of your souls. These energies are attached to them.

- I do not understand. Are there any separate entities?

- Let me illustrate this to you in a few examples. Imagine that many centuries ago in ancient Egypt your soul had the incarnation of a young boy whose style of being completely deviated from the then customs. The boy felt free from practically everything. And as you well know, in that period in Egypt the law was rigorously observed, and all attempts to break it were punished with absolute ruthlessness. Very often it ended with the death of a rebel. So, on the one hand, imagine this unruly boy. And now, imagine an Egyptian official who has played a soul with which your soul is in dispute. It is not certain, however, whether this is your dispute or those energy sucked to you. Remember, you both act on opposite energies. Can something good come from this? What do you think?

- How does it end? - answered the question with a question.

- Unfortunately, the boy's death.

This message saddened her.

- But that's not all. At the end of the Middle Ages, your souls are given another chance to meet in new bodies.

- Really? How does it look this time?

- You both come to the world in Germany during religious disputes. This time this second soul is a young woman. As a girl, she was given to the monastery. She soon becomes a nun, although she does not feel well in this role. After weddings, he is in crisis. He discovers in his interior that something is wrong with this monastic faith, something does not suit her here. Then your soul appears in the person of a young monk. He is persuading the nun to escape from the monastery. Then you get married and children are born to you.

- At least this story ends well - Anna smiled.

- Unfortunately, this story also has a pessimistic tone - the mystic replied.

- Why? What happened?

- You both left the Catholic Church and you were, as we now call it, Protestants. But while you as a former monk believed in the ideals of Protestantism, your wife never confessed them. She believed in God, but did not identify him with Christianity. Now you can understand it, but not when Christianity was so firmly set in Europe. Today we have many religions, freedom of religion and views, but then no. She had either Catholicism or Protestantism to choose from. She did not choose any. Once your children were adults, she told her husband, or you, about what she really believed. In a fit of emotion, you pierce her body with a sword. She died after long agonies.

- What do you want to say to me? - she was clearly worried.

- Apparently the time has come to end this fight.

- What fight? She asked uncertainly.

- Fight with this other soul. In the present incarnation, you are also close to yourself.

- Who do you mean?

- You know, Anna - his words frightened her.

"Andreas," she said in a whisper. But how is this possible? Is this true at all? Hundreds of thoughts began circling in her head, like bodies orbiting the center of the mass of the system.

- There is only one way to free yourself from your fight - the Russian has warned her - you must give him freedom. Then your gehenna will end. In your Egyptian incarnation, this second soul condemned you to death. In turn in the sixteenth century, you as a former monk murdered the incarnation of this soul. It was revenge for the wrong you suffered as a soul in Egypt. To end this conflict, you both have to give yourself freedom.

She remembered that this conversation with Zeland had moved her deeply. So that's it, she thought. Then it was the moment. The time has come to decide. Poland and Germany are doing a divorce. Threads from the covenant. Does she, a Polish woman, have to divorce the German? But she did not want to just end her relationship with Andreas. In the end, he was important to her. She loved him. Fight of souls? She asked herself rhetorically. No, she said loudly, it can not end like this. I must try to talk to Andreas again.

She extinguished the cigarette in a dark green ashtray and dialed his number on the portable camera. He only answered after the fourth signal.

- What else do you want?

"I must speak with you about my conversation with Zeland. I have not mentioned it before, but it seems to me that in the current situation it is important for both of us.

She summarized the entire course of her private meeting with the Russian. He listened to her in peace. When she finished talking, he was silent for a moment. The message reached him slowly. Finally he said:

- Maybe it is not true? Why should we believe it?

- I met with him in 1940, a year before the war with the USSR. Why should he make up?

- I do not know. It's hard to me to believe it. As you know, we Germans disagree with all of the esoteric message of Zeland.

- I know, but think about it. If this is true, you should give up fighting ...

- Desert? If they catch me, they'll kill me. I will not betray my homeland.

- What is this homeland that condemns its people to death because of some sick ideology? Is it worth dying for?

- I have vowed and I will not betray. And as for us, our souls, how did the Russian say that? She heard his gentle laugh in the telephone receiver.

- He talked about freedom. He said that our souls must give each other freedom, otherwise their struggle will continue.

- You see. There's no other way. I will not leave Germany, you will not leave Poland.

- Is this how to give yourself freedom? Are we to break up forever? Do not you care about me anymore?

- You yourself have decided that you will not come to me, so what can I do?

- Then it's a farewell. We will not see each other again.

- Maybe after the war, when ...

- You do not believe it yourself ... I'm asking you one last thing. If Zeland tells the truth, let's give each other freedom, one for each other, let us break up without regret and grudge. War has divided our earthly lives, but let it not divide our souls.

- Well, Anna ... Be well and happy.

- You also be healthy. Goodbye Andreas ...

She hung up the phone and remembered the childhood dream that often haunted her in her adult life:

"The sun shines beautifully. I am located above a small lake. Around the green, lush, tall grass smelling of milk, sunflower and other flowers. I am naked. Other naked people also accompany me. They are joyful. We all bathe in the water. Laughter is everywhere. During sleep, I feel enormous relaxation and relaxation. I wake up and regret that the dream is over. However, I feel very good and I start another day with optimism. "

1 Vadim Zeland, Transerfing Reality, vol. IX, p. 49.